"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

thumb_up thumb_down +103

-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

thumb_up thumb_down +128

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

adam burdass

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

thumb_up thumb_down -58

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

thumb_up thumb_down -36

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

thumb_up thumb_down +76

M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!