Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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I hate you already.

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!