Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

I hate you already.

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!