-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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You smell just like my mom...

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!