Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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