If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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You allergic to semen?

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!