This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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