Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

I take the the out of psychotherapist

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

You smell just like my mom...

adam burdass

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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