Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

Sugar-free sugar cookies

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!