HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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For the males that do not know what I mean with "woman screams" comment below... well HAHAHAHAHAH LOSERS LOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEERS! Moral: Read a book about females more interesting parts one day you lazy bastard... as for the girls... I am not talking about anything bad nor dirty... just 12 hour orgasms and such nice things... WHAT? YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT IS HORRIBLE? Well in that case you dont know what you are missing... and you wont ever know.... Ps: Can you believe I am actually trying to get thumbs downs but keep getting upped? Thanks for accepting my ever growing controversial nature, lets keep it that way and soon moral man will uh... receive a medal for uh... well a small keychain for... uh... you know what? Never mind.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!