Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!