- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...goes into the guys restroom with her....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Anti-Pickup Line

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