Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

thumb_up thumb_down -102

M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

thumb_up thumb_down -47

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

thumb_up thumb_down -97

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

thumb_up thumb_down

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

thumb_up thumb_down -43

There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!