Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

thumb_up thumb_down +74

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

thumb_up thumb_down -42

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

thumb_up thumb_down -152

Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -55

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

thumb_up thumb_down -57

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -93

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

thumb_up thumb_down -117

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

thumb_up thumb_down +122

Put the lotion on the skin!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

thumb_up thumb_down -106

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

thumb_up thumb_down -138

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

thumb_up thumb_down +107

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!