For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

thumb_up thumb_down -125

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

thumb_up thumb_down -92

If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

thumb_up thumb_down -100

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Put the lotion on the skin!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -97

M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

thumb_up thumb_down +52

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!