Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!