Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!