You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!