How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!