Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!