- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. sneeze

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.