Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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I AM LOVE! I AM LOVE! Moral: Seriously, I have never been QUUUUUITE this happy, shouting I am love is probably not the best move, thanks for your thumbs ups, thumbs downs, and while my work is done here, that does not mean Ill leave, I need to keep my reputation as the fourth, smoothest, aka pointless invention in the world, and unless you want to count that girl Justina Bitcherina, that means that I am the smoothest man alive, THANK YOU THANK YOU! And feel free to vote this down if you cant handle being thanked by the smoothest most awesome man alive. Hey, I get it, we cant all be me ;)

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!