Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!