Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!