Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!