my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!