Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

thumb_up thumb_down +48

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

thumb_up thumb_down +44

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down -2

At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!