Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!