2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

I'll punch ya!

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

My therapist says I should meet new people.

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!