How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!