-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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I'll punch ya!

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!