Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!