What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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I'll punch ya!

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!