Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

thumb_up thumb_down -38

HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

thumb_up thumb_down -42

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

thumb_up thumb_down +97

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

thumb_up thumb_down -65

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

thumb_up thumb_down -18

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

thumb_up thumb_down -20

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

thumb_up thumb_down -38

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!