- Anti-Pickup Line

ANYWAY... I have been married for around X years right? (My wife is anon because reasons valid reasons!) And I told my wife "Babe, you know what you got married into baby, how about you and I consider having a third one in the bed... No not a guy, thats disgusting, you agree? Awwride! So anyways, she was like "Uh... Ask me again in a year I need to think things trough, and I want you for myself..." Next week we was fucking my new (back then neighbor) which is 28 or whatever (I dont remember my neighbors name BAHAHA (actual laugher)... Peeps, say what you want about me, ill be the one fucking the prom queen tomorrow... And you know, maybe someone else, sex with more than my waifu the prom queen is addictive, I mean sharing (salive, cum juices) is caring right? Okay, I better stop here, Rebecca (SHADDAP AUTOCORRECT ITS HOW HER NAME IS SPELLED... I guess) is upset... No not because I am typing this, but because I am out here freezing my ballz off smoking her ciggs... Man The great stuff about "decent equipment" is that I dont need all that much energy, just the speed to keep the girls screaming!

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...goes into the guys restroom with her....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! wiggles tail woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension and leaves. Dog: HOWL! whimpers :( throws top hat away Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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