i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!