- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!