- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! walks away disgusted Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book