- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

Put the lotion on the skin!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book