- Anti-Pickup Line

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. sneeze

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one sticks up middle finger

I think I shit myself

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

"OMG A SAMSUNG!" Lol, thats cool man, as for the car, the engine is shiny and flawless, (you know for a fiat) and I have not used it since I you know "bought it" as in won it from my ex while playing poker? Id give it back to her if she was not such a bitch. Honestly dude, its a fiat, and that piece of shit you call a car, I mean man, we have been towed from the free way like six times already? XD And that is just the few times I want to sit in that piece of shit XD I mean the seats pop off and there is "custom space to transport marijuana there man XD" I seriously hope you bought it that way, because stoners aint my friends. Seriously dude, the Fiat (aka "car") is yours, you know that you are bankrupt because you keep trying to fix that piece of shit on wheels of yours XD, and hey, surprise kiddo, I renewed the engine, so its new and shiny, and free, and fuck if not only the engine itself is worth ten more times than... A billion of those pieces of shit you drive XD No seriously, you know me, Im The Hannibal, I am the beast but I like it classy, and its pretty embarrassing sitting on that piece of shit you call for a car. I know we are from different worlds pal, but take it, just gave myself a bonus at work (legal of course) but I got to say it... "A SAMSUNG OMG" XD And yeah, I know you been eyeballing that "car" aka Fiat, its yours whenever you want it, just tell people I am leasing it to you (I mean it I really do, thats my only condition) Moral: "I DRIVE PIECES OF SHIT FOR BREAKFAST!" PROTIP FOR GETTING ANYWHERE IN YOUR CAR: Put it The opposite way, and have the towing car tow you TOWARDS the place you want to get to XD (hey, how many times you been towed JUST from the freeway? I mean I hate hunting, but do you really use that shit in the Forrest too? Answer here, be real, and come get your car.

-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... yawn Zzzzzzzmooth...

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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