- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch flushes the toilet

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

Boy : Gurle: hi

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book