- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! walks away disgusted Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

you look like my mother

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book