-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

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haha

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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I'll eat your poop

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Mario: Its a me Mario! Woman: Uhuh... Mario: Its a me Mario? Woman: Yeah you got a point? Mario: Okey dokey! Woman: So? Mario: Letsa go! Woman: Well okay, I mean *chews bubblegum* at least I know who you are and stuff... Moral: I once saw a red mushroom come out of a question block, so I just touch it with my Richard and... ...Wait ill take the green one, just in case, I good with what I have...

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Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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