- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book