- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... yawn Zzzzzzzmooth...

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book