Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

thumb_up thumb_down +134

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

thumb_up thumb_down +82

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I just killed my wife. What should I do?

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

thumb_up thumb_down -152

Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

free candy....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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