- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

you look like my mother

Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! walks away disgusted Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book