I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

thumb_up thumb_down -79

-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

thumb_up thumb_down -56

hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!