Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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guy: ermm...i like blondes ;) ima blonde too...we r a perfect dumb blonde match!!!! girl: yeah but im the dumb one in this situation. and have u taken a look in the mirror lately?!?! guy: yeah...well...uhh...maybe.........no not really... girl: well first of all you got pimples the size of mars, you have cross-eyes, you nose is bigger than squidwards nose, and let me see ur d!ck...now!!!! guy: oooh getting right to the point!!! i like it *unzips his pants and pulls out his nub* girl: uhh well u aint got no point, it looks like ur point just broke... guy: well midgets cant help it!!!!!!!!! dont judge my falses!!!!!! girl: okayy...besides theres wayyy too much to judge...no point...ur a complete waste of my timee!!!!!!!! now go watch porn and see if it grows a little bigger than his little nub u got.

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will you marry me

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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