Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.

Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

Boy : Gurle: hi

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

you look like my mother

MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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