- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

I think I shit myself

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

Girl walks into restaurant - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

I'll punch ya!

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

will you marry me

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book