My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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free candy....

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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