Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!