B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

I'll punch ya!

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!