Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!