Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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"You'll do."

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!