Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Hello children! :D

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!