- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book