Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!