- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

thumb_up thumb_down +30

sound of zipper

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

thumb_up thumb_down -168

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

thumb_up thumb_down +2

you actually look alright with the lights on.

thumb_up thumb_down +140

HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

thumb_up thumb_down -4

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

thumb_up thumb_down -22

WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

thumb_up thumb_down +157

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

thumb_up thumb_down -22

With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

thumb_up thumb_down +193

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -74

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

thumb_up thumb_down +75

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!