M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

thumb_up thumb_down +614

Boy : Gurle: hi

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

thumb_up thumb_down +69

I'll eat your poop

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

thumb_up thumb_down +125

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

thumb_up thumb_down +92

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down +268

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

thumb_up thumb_down +74

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Eat me, I'm organic!

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!