- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

I've got a black belt in lovin'.

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

I've got candy.

Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

you look like my mother

Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book