MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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cockface

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Man:Yeah, hey yo I'm feelin' like Ray Charles I got my shades on, I don't know where they are You couldn't find me even if you had a radar And I spit rapidly AKAR! Woman: OK ok so you claim to be Ray Charles and all, not that you look like him nor have the same voice... but tell me, how the hell did Ray Charles himself manage to get himself stuck in the ladies sauna room eh? Man: To catch the sight of them boobies! I mean... uh... I do not know young lady, I must feel my way out of here, I hmm... no, this is too soft and round to be a doorknob, and this one is too big and round... hmm... maybe if I try lower I will... oh excuse the pole its my walking stick which I keep in my pants...

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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I hate you already.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!