I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!