Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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Sex?

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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-Get in the Van

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!