Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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Nice legs what time do they open

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!