"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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sound of zipper

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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Golf.

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!