M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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Welcome to DIE!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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- You look really nice - I know

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

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Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!