From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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At a huge bar only known as Castlevania... Woman: Get lost loser! Why would I wont pay you "tribute" you pervert! Man: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh.... I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute! Woman: What do you mean? You are totally insane and make no sense at all! Man: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL religions.,, Woman: You are quite the nutjob man... Man: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk... Have at you! Woman: EEEK! Man: But what is this? Did I just attack a woman wearing a cross? Is your last name Belmont? Woman: Yeah So? Is there a problem with my HOLY CROSS! *Man on fire*: WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE! ARGH!!!!!!! Moral: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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Soon

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!