So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Get in the van.

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EVERYONE ELSE

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!