Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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Are your prices by the hour

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greetings clarisse...

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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Soon

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!