-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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greetings clarisse...

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Lesbihonest

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!