i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Soon

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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rohypnol. rape drug

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Real life again: I was about sixteen: Girl: Hey I hear you are good at tekken tag! Me: Yeah, but I dont play videogames anymore (a lie in order to appear "cooler") Girl: I am pretty good too! I love Kuma and Panda Me: Well, okay... Girl: Want to play with me? Me: Meh... Girl: But I really want to play with you if you know what I mean ;) Me: I dont play tekken... Girl: Not even... "Tekken" ;) ;) Me: Nah... Moral: I am a late bloomer to say the least...

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!