- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

-Do you like me? -No

Dont let this rape turn into a murder

Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

When you get her to your place I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. unzips pants

He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book