Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

Hello children! :D

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

fancy going halves on a bastard?

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

Male: Get in the van.

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

sex me.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!