guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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-Get in the Van

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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