Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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Nice legs what time do they open

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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