Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Do you want to see something swell?

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!