Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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Real life number XX: Girl: I will only sleep with you if you bring along your hot friend over there. Me: Uh, like a threesome with a guy? Uh... Maybe let me think about it... At nighttime: Me: Hey Tobias, she said yes about screwing with me if you join in, but I swear I will kick your ass if you touch me! Tobias: Like if I touch you sexually? Me: Yeah! duh! Tobias: WHY?! Not even like a little? Moral: Not as much a anti-joke as the weirdest thing I ever experienced...

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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