Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

imgonna r@pe you

-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

-Get in the Van

guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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