Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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-Get in the Van

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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