Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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"Next!"

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Man:Yeah, hey yo I'm feelin' like Ray Charles I got my shades on, I don't know where they are You couldn't find me even if you had a radar And I spit rapidly AKAR! Woman: OK ok so you claim to be Ray Charles and all, not that you look like him nor have the same voice... but tell me, how the hell did Ray Charles himself manage to get himself stuck in the ladies sauna room eh? Man: To catch the sight of them boobies! I mean... uh... I do not know young lady, I must feel my way out of here, I hmm... no, this is too soft and round to be a doorknob, and this one is too big and round... hmm... maybe if I try lower I will... oh excuse the pole its my walking stick which I keep in my pants...

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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