hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

- You look really nice - I know

-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

I love you more than my jar of fingers.

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!