That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

Your skin would make a nice coat.

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

Walking to your car alone later?

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

Your body would look good in my trunk.

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!